By Renaissance Girl
I find myself confronted today with things in myself that I don’t like to admit. For one thing, I am determined to hang on to control of my own life — and it’s not working out very well with my vow of obedience to God. I like to think I am available with an attitude of “here I am Lord,” but that is far from the truth. I feel myself resisting to my core — reinforcing a wall around my heart.
The painful part is admitting that my way is not always best. My pride screams out that this can’t be possible. I doggedly hang on to my way, even when it’s squeezing life out of me. I sat down this morning and thought, “I need a word about hard hearts.” I proceeded to open my daily devotional email. And there it was: “Today if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts,” Psalm 95.
We just heard yesterday in church about how the Israelites doubted God even though he had rescued them and provided for them. But he wasn’t doing it the way THEY wanted, and their anger led them to even question God’s presence. The remarkable thing though, is that, despite their grumbling, God still provided water for His people in the wilderness. His love baffles me — because it is not how I love. He will do whatever it takes to bring us to where he has called us to be.
The meditation by Oswald Chambers that went with today’s scripture:The words of the Lord hurt and offend until there is nothing left to hurt or offend. Jesus Christ has no tenderness whatever toward anything that is ultimately going to ruin a man in the service of God.